About Me
I'm a mechanical engineering student who finds himself thrust into a world of
My first major opening to Truth was when I arrived at University. The model student I'd built myself up to be, and succeeded as, didn't know what to do. He was no longer the best. And so without that as a reference point I didn't know who to be. The universe then delivered a new avenue to identify with, something to differentiate me from the crowd. Compared to the 18 years of the first time, this only took me 18 months to realise this was just another trap.
I'm reminded by this quote by Oscar Wilde - "If you know what you want to be, then you will become it; that is your punishment"
So how do we stop pretending to be who we're not? How do we move towards more Love and Freedom in our lives?
It all went wrong when I got to University. I enjoyed a crisis of personality as it turned out the grades I'd secured at school didn't matter anymore. And some part of me woke up to the fact I wasn't the model student I'd been playing for years. The universe presented me with a new frame with which I could define myself and I grabbed onto it quickly. But found out too that wasn't who I was.
Even in the self improvement and
So I've been on a search for who I am if I'm not these things I identify with.
I consciously began this journey after leaving for University, where I found out no one cared about the grades I'd gotten at school. After two amazing A Level years of intense fulfilment and being rewarded for my efforts, I was devastated. I'd built my identity so intensely on this, but it was shown to be a lie. I didn't know who I was, but I wasn't the model student I thought myself to be. The universe however quickly delivered access to a property investment mastermind group where I fitted in and felt a sense of belonging. In a way, I'd made a new decision as to who I was. I was now a property guy. It took me 18 months to realise this too wasn't true; much better though than the 18 years it took me to realise the first time.
In the meantime however I knew something was deeply wrong inside, like I was deforming myself to fit into a badly tailored suit. A path of emotional healing and therapy arose as a way to take off this suit. It seems to me that many therapeutic modalities might focus on working on a way to tailor a better suit, but that would still be a lie. It now looks like a better way of doing to work would be to sit with and experience the discomfort inside that I was using this suit to hide from the world.
I found David Richo, who melded therapy work with spiritual practice. Bringing in mindfullness and letting go as the missing piece to therapy work, and I was hooked.
My relationship to my issues in life has changed radically. Having started out in the self-improvement world I started to become highly self aware and had you asked I could tell you everything that was wrong with me - but none of it was changing or shifting. I then found the path of therapeutic work and, with the help of my psychotherapist and the works of David Richo, I began to see what I was missing. The twin tools of therapeutic work and spiritual practice working together. In therapy we unravel the conundrums of our past, and in spiritual practice we can let go of what got us into that predicament in the first place. It is a natural process for our issues to arise, be expressed, and resolve themselves - but from all our conditioning and aversion to this process we resist letting it through. With both tools we can allow more space both for our issues to flow through and let them resolve without such engineered interference, and also for our sense of true being to come through more authentically. As I began this process my ‘stuff’ began to deepen and move very quickly.
Although therapy and VortexHealing® are very different modalities, they function very similarly. You can show up to a space held by another person regularly with the express purpose of just getting back to being yourself. When working with me you will see the overlap of these processes, as just a small amount of psychological perspective can help us see the root of your issues, and then with the spiritual healing practice of VortexHealing® we can start to shift it. Although, as I begin to experience in my own journey,
Has it fixed me completely? Haha not at all. But the nature of my connection to issues has shifted drastically. I find myself way more capable of carrying myself without such anxiety, fear, or stress. For me a lot of the work has been in relationships and this continues to be an issue I work with and I’m sure I will do probably for the rest of my journey. Now however I’m much more capable of just being and hanging out with the other person, I didn’t even notice all the judgement and agenda I was bringing to the table until it left - all of which was creating intense amounts of discomfort. Habits and patterns I wasn’t even aware of I can now see and have more choice over. We cannot seek to become the Messiah, but to have Messianic moments - and I’m very blessed that this is happening more and more, and at a deeper level, the further I walk this path.
The highest level VortexHealing® Class I have completed is LifeForm.